The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain

Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

I just flew out to Seattle to buy a 2006 Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI, a vehicle so infamously expensive to repair that any one visit to the dealership could cost as much as a whole new car. Not only did the Touareg make it the 2,100 miles home, but it did it without even triggering a check engine light. And, I should mention, the engine under the hood of this SUV has the power to corrupt even the best drivers.

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Like many car enthusiasts, I spent my formative years watching car-focused television and videos. One of the videos that’s still vivid in my memory is watching a blue Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI pull a decommissioned Boeing 747 down a runway at a leisurely pace. That story is incredible in itself, as VW added 15,498 pounds of ballast weight to the already nearly 6,000 pound SUV before hitching it up to the 747.

Since I recently got news that my Passat W8 has met an unfortunate end, I decided to replace it with something even more stupid. I took the gamble and picked up the V10 TDI sight unseen with the only promise being that it didn’t have a check engine light. And what I found out in my 2,100-mile drive home is that the marketing for the V10 TDI isn’t just hype. This thing is as ridiculous in real life as it appeared to be in promotional videos.

Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

New, they were expensive. The starting price for the V10 in 2006 was $67,750, or $91,240 in today’s money.

On the outside and even the inside, the Touareg V10 TDI isn’t much different than its VR6 or V8 siblings. We’ve written about the mind-boggling first-generation Volkswagen Touareg and the technology VW put into it before. You can get the same stuff without opting for V10 power. Here’s the V10 TDI compared to the VR6:

Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

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Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

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Your first sign that something is different about this Touareg is the V10 TDI badge on the back.

Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

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Things change once you hop behind the wheel and fire up that V10. American diesels back in 2006 still sounded a bit like a big rig, but this? It’s quiet. It even idles smooth like a well-tuned V6 or V8. But open up the throttle and the engine will take you on an adventure.

The Touareg V10 TDI weighs about 6,000 pounds. It even looks heavy. So when you put the throttle down you don’t expect it to launch like a sports car. But stomp it and you’ll hear those twin turbos spool up followed by a surge of power that keeps you in your seat.

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Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

The power in itself is bewildering because it’ll keep you in your seat through every gear and past every speed limit in the land. You’ll run out of road before the V10 runs out of power.

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It’s weird, too, because on paper, the V10 TDI isn’t all that impressive. It makes 310-HP and 553 lb-ft torque. Those are similar numbers to the Ford 6.0-liter Power Stroke V8 of the same year, and those don’t make you feel like you can pull down a mountain or tow a jumbo jet. And, the V10 TDI is able to dispatch 0-60 times in about 7 seconds in the real world.

Where the V10 TDI really shines is on the highway. See a mountain up ahead? The V10 TDI will climb it without breaking a sweat or downshifting. Need to make a pass? It’ll pass anything in your way faster than you can say Ferdinand Piëch.

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Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

On my trip home I scored 20 mpg while scooting through the Rockies and it wasn’t like I was trying to be conservative with the go pedal, either.

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There have to be some downsides, right? Of course there are!

You have to remove the engine to do what would be minor repairs on smaller engines. Alternator? Engine removal. Turbos? Engine removal. Starter? Engine removal, or disassemble much of the right side of the car. As you can imagine, that makes anything related to the engine a hilariously expensive repair.

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Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

Still, despite the endless warnings from former owners and even our own articles, I couldn’t resist the temptation.

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I’m glad, because I’ve never driven an SUV this fun. The V10 TDI is irresponsibly fast and the intoxication of driving it is so corrupting that it could turn Superman into Lex Luthor. It’s a vehicle that somehow doesn’t run out of power; at least, so long as it’s working right. The accelerator pedal is like a gateway drug and somehow, it’s packaged up in a SUV body that can tow around 8,000 pounds and off-road like a beast.

Illustration for article titled The Volkswagen Touareg V10 TDI Could Turn A Superhero Into A Villain
Photo: Mercedes Streeter

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I paid $5,000 for this one and as far as I can tell, it only needs a new dial for the air suspension, a little touch up paint on the tailgate and new tires. Otherwise, everything works as it should. But even after my trip would I recommend you buy one? Absolutely not, unless you have like 10 other cars to drive when it breaks.

Proud Owner Of Two Of The Biggest Auto Maintenance Nightmares Of The Modern Era Suffers Predictable Tragedy

Illustration for article titled Proud Owner Of Two Of The Biggest Auto Maintenance Nightmares Of The Modern Era Suffers Predictable Tragedy
Photo: Gareth Watkins’s mechanic (Topshot art by Jason Torchinsky

Meet The Hero Who Owns Two Of The Biggest Auto Maintenance Nightmares Of The Modern Era,” read our 2019 headline about proud VW Touareg and Passat W8 owner, Gareth Watkins. A year after that story published, Watkins sent me an update on his fleet, and, well — it’s as predictable as it is tragic.

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Watkins, a British Amazon employee living in Spain, is a huge fan of German cars with big engines. He told my coworker Raphael in an email last year that he’s “never been a fan of the boring family car and the associated easy life they bring,” and that he “[finds] it almost impossible to refuse an excessively oversized engine, particularly when it is a frivolous inclusion in a vehicle that will operate perfectly fine with a smaller more sensibly proportioned motor.”

With this kind of thinking, it makes sense that Watkins chose to purchase both a Passat W8 and a Touareg V10 TDI, two vehicles whose displacements add up to a whopping nine liters. That’s a lot of liters for vehicles in Europe, where fuel costs more than fine wine.

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It Seemed Almost Predictable

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Photo: Gareth Watkins (Topshot art by Jason Torchinsky

The $12,000 Touareg, Watkins told me when I interviewed him last year, drew him in with its copious electronic gadgets. From our interview:

I saw this on the lot during the search for a sensible car and was sucked in by the sheer amount of gear it has… this car has a lot going on! A lot of it pointless I have to say but I like the fact I have the option. It’s not as nice a place to sit as my W8, it has waaaaay too many buttons for a start…. I like a nice clean button free zone, but this is the opposite of that.

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But even back in 2019, Watkins was having issues with the big SUV’s electrical system, saying he drove the vehicle “in constant fear.” He described some of the electrical gremlins plaguing the big diesel Touareg, saying:

…There is definitely an electrical issue of some sort as I get random warning lights about drive train issues and also a number plate light warning… every now and again it will go in to limp mode too… the gearbox does some weird things every now and again if you put your foot down too briskly.

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Watkins went on to tell me over the phone that, if the dealership where the car had spent at least half its time under Watkins’s ownership couldn’t fix the car while it was still under warranty, Watkins knew he would “no doubt feel the world of pain that everyone is talking about there in the U.S.”

That “world of pain,” of course, is a reference to the reputation that high-end VW Group products have for not only frequently requiring repairs to their electrical systems, but also for those repairs to be extremely costly. Then came the foreshadowing:

“we’re hopefully that it’s not gonna be anything terminal…well certainly not terminal to my wallet, anyway.”

“‘I’m quite happy to spend a bit of money on it to make sure it remains in A1 condition,’ he told me, going on to say that he first wants to know that “‘it’s not gonna hit me with a really nasty surprise before I go and do something like that.’”

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This was last year. Now, this past July, Watkins sent me an email telling me that, back in January, after sitting at the shop since September 2019, the Touareg did hit Watkins with a “really nasty surprise” that was very much “terminal”: It went up in flames.

The Fire

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Photo: Gareth Watkins (Topshot art by Jason Torchinsky

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Watkins had left the car with his mechanic friend after the machine’s electrical system continually shit the bed. Aside from a four-day stretch during which Watkins returned to the parking lot from a shopping trip to find the car completely dead, the vehicle had been in the shop for four months straight.

“I was actually skiing in France on holiday when the owner of the shop sent me those pictures,” Watkins told me, referring to the images of the immolation just outside the garage. “I don’t know exactly what the fault was and unlikely to find out now… but it was an electrical problem that fortunately happened when nobody was in the car.”

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Photo: Gareth Watkins (Topshot art by Jason Torchinsky

Watkins told me that the shop simply could not solve the car’s electrical problems, which included issues with the central locking system. “At one point my wife parked the car, got out of the driver’s door to…get our daughter out, and the car locked itself with [my daughter] stuck in the car.” Luckily, after around 40 minutes of Watkins’s wife trying to unlock the off-roader with both the key and the fob, the car “unlocked itself.”

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Photo: Gareth Watkins (Topshot art by Jason Torchinsky

That’s when the Watkins family decided to stop driving the car, but from then on, the vehicle remained at the shop as technicians struggled to mend the car’s various electrical problems, with Watkins saying of the car’s ailment: “eventually it…solved itself in the worst way possible.”

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Photo: Gareth Watkins (Topshot art by Jason Torchinsky

“It was in shop from September to January until it caught fire,” he told me, saying that “whatever electric problem it had was very complicated.” He’s grateful that nobody was in the car when it went up in flames. Looking at the images, the fire appears to have started under-hood:

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Photo: Gareth Watkins (Topshot art by Jason Torchinsky

“That’s it. One of the twin VWs is no more,” Watkins declared, though he tells me that his Passat W8 is still doing fine. “Other than the fact that it’s still in the U.K. and I’m still in Spain…other than that it’s great,” he said. Watkins traveled back to the U.K. for a month this past summer and drove the Passat for three weeks. “Yeah, and it’s great. Perfect. No complaints. Still enough to just remind me of why I keep it.”

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Photo: Gareth Watkins (Topshot art by Jason Torchinsky

Hopefully, Watkins says, the fiery Touareg is the finale to his Unreliable VW saga, and the W8 Passat lives a long and prosperous life.